FanFic: Oberyn and Ellaria’s Introduction Redux

So my experience in writing fiction is, shall we say, limited. But I have a bit of time on my hands. Also, after my conversation with Rowan in my post analysing this scene in Game of Thrones, I thought I’d give this a go.


The scene opens with Oberyn slowly walking behind the three sex workers and then turning and walking in front of them, looking them up and down. Olyver is standing at the end of the room watching. Ellaria is lounging on the bed with a glass of wine. Oberyn stops at the first one and looks at Ellaria.

OBERYN: (To the sex worker) Oh, look at you. How lovely.

ELLARIA: (To Oberyn) Beautiful. But pale. (To the sex worker) Why are you so pale?

The sex worker stands there silently, looking down.

OBERYN: (To Ellaria) We like them pale in the capital. Shows they don’t work the fields.

Oberyn begins to undress the sex worker but she is clearly uncomfortable. She moves to cover herself as Oberyn holds her dress in his hands.

OBERYN: Do I frighten you?

The sex worker shakes her head unconvincingly.

OBERYN: (To Ellaria) You like?

ELLARIA: Timid. What’s the point if she’s afraid?

Oberyn hands the sex worker back her clothes, who hurriedly puts them back on. As she does so, Oberyn walks toward the next sex worker with a smile on his face.

OBERYN: You’re a bit of mischief, aren’t you?

The second sex worker smiles and nods.

OBERYN: I think she likes you.

ELLARIA: (To the second sex worker) You have good taste.

OBERYN: You’re not timid, are you?

The second sex worker removes her own clothes and sashays toward Ellaria on the bed, leaning over to kiss her.

ELLARIA: (Laughing) Not timid. What’s your name?


Oberyn walks toward the bed and sits at the end of it, lounging against Ellaria.

OBERYN: You like women, Beth?

BETH: Yes. Especially when they look like her, my lord.

ELLARIA: (Laughing again) You’ll do nicely.

Olyver is still standing at the far end of the room.

OLYVER: Very good, my lady.

ELLARIA: I’m not a lady.

OLYVER: A term of courtesy in this establishment.

ELLARIA: A lie anywhere. Why not use the right words? I’m a bastard. Beth is a whore. And you’re, what? A procurer?

Olyver’s silence indicates an affirmative answer. He waits a moment before speaking again.

OLYVER: Any of the others?

Ellaria shakes her head and Oberyn stands up from the bed, approaching Olyver.

OBERYN: The two women can leave. You stay.

OLYVER: Me, my lord? So sure I’m on offer?

OBERYN: Everyone who works for Littlefinger is on offer.

The sounds of Ellaria and Beth enjoying themselves can be heard in the background.

OLYVER: I’m wildly expensive.

OBERYN: I’m a prince. Have you ever been with a prince?

OLYVER: (Smiling) Can’t say I have.

OBERYN: You’d like to.

Olyver nods.

OBERYN: Take off your clothes.

Olyver unbuttons his robes and Oberyn pushes them off his shoulders and to the floor. Olyver stands there nude. Olyver leans toward Oberyn.

OLYVER: Which way do you like it?

Oberyn quickly grabs Olyver around the waist and pulls him against Oberyn, so there’s no space between them.

OBERYN: My way.

Oberyn then moves to pull Olyver to the bed, but is distracted by the sound of Lannister guards singing. Ellaria moves away from Beth and sits up, looking at Oberyn.

ELLARIA: Oberyn. Oberyn, don’t.

Oberyn walks out of the room and Ellaria hands her glass to Beth.

ELLARIA: (Said as she’s moving off the bed) We didn’t come here for this…

Two Lannister guards are in the next room with women sex workers on their laps, singing. Oberyn struts into the room and the two look up at him.

GUARD ONE: You lost, friend?

OBERYN: Forgive me for staring. I don’t see many Lannisters where I’m from.

GUARD ONE: I don’t see many Dornishmen in the capital.

OBERYN: We don’t like the smell. (Chuckling)

Olyver (again wearing his robes) walks into the room with Ellaria. Olyver stands near the far wall. Ellaria walks up to Oberyn and grabs his arm.

ELLARIA: Come with me, lover.

GUARD TWO: (Speaking about Ellaria) Gods, look at this one.

Ellaria stares daggers at the second guard. 

OLYVER: (To the guards) Sirs, if you’ll follow me I’ll arrange for a private room.

GUARD TWO: (Ignoring Olyver) Why are you wasting a woman like this on a Dornishman? Bring him a shaved goat and a bottle of olive oil.

Olyver looks worried at what might happen next. Ellaria gets a wicked grin on her face and steps back from Oberyn. She’s clearly no longer interested in talking Oberyn down after the guard blatantly insulted them.

OBERYN: (Smiling and walking toward the second guard) You know why all the world hates a Lannister?

The two women who were sitting on the guards laps stand up and walk out. The two guards also stand up, ready for a confrontation.

OBERYN: You think your gold, your lions and your gold lions make you better than everyone. Can I tell you a secret? You’re not a golden lion. You’re just a pink little man who’s far too slow on the draw.

The second guard is smiling cockily. The guard moves to pick up the sword that’s on the table, and Oberyn quickly pulls out a  dagger and stabs it through the guard’s hand on the table. Ellaria is watching the whole thing with a satisfied look on her face.

OBERYN: Longsword is a bad option in close quarters. (To the first guard) When I pull my blade, your friend starts bleeding, quite a lot, I’m afraid. So many veins in the wrist.

Oberyn twists the knife and the second guard lets out a yelp of pain. Ellaria watches, clearly excited that the person who insulted her is feeling pain. The first guard grimaces as his companion yelps.

OBERYN: He’ll live if you get him help straight away. So. Decisions.

At that moment, Tyrion, Podrick and Bronn enter the room.

TYRION: Prince Oberyn, forgive the intrusion. We heard there might be…

Oberyn chooses that moment to pull his dagger from the second guard’s hand. The second guard starts yelling louder as blood pulses out of his wrist.

TYRION: …trouble.

Ellaria walks toward Oberyn.

OBERYN: Apologies, my love.

ELLARIA: They deserved worse.

Ellaria then begins passionately making out with Oberyn while the two guards run from the room. Tyrion and Bronn stand by watching, clearly unsure of how to proceed.

TYRION: I’m here to welcome you to the capital.

Eventually Ellaria and Oberyn stop kissing and turn to Tyrion.

OBERYN: Ellaria Sand, my paramour. (Oberyn gestures to Tyrion) The King’s own uncle imp, Tyrion, son of Tywin. Lannister.

Ellaria turns her attention to Tyrion with a less-than-pleasant expression on her face.

TYRION: If there is anything I can do to make your stay in King’s Landing more…

OBERYN: (To Bronn) What are you? His hired killer?

BRONN: It started that way, aye. Now I’m a knight.

ELLARIA: How did that come to pass?

BRONN: Killed the right people, I suppose.

Ellaria and Oberyn both laugh and Bronn joins them.

OBERYN: (To Olyver) We’ll need a few more women. And I’m not done with you.

Olyver nods and turns to leave the room.

OBERYN: (To Bronn and Tyrion) Women, yes?

Tyrion shakes his head and Bronn nodds enthusiastically.

OBERYN: You don’t partake?

TYRION: Oh, I partook. Now I’m married.

Ellaria looks at Tyrion as he says this, clearly disgusted with the idea.

TYRION: Prince Oberyn, if I may. A word. In private.



Oberyn and Ellaria: The Bisexual Problem in Game of Thrones


It’s been a week since the season 4 premiere of Game of Thrones. I’d not written this post any earlier because I wanted to sit and mull over some of the topics I’m going to be talking about for a bit before writing about them. I won’t be spoiling any big plot points, here. This will be a discussion of the sequence of scenes which introduce Oberyn Martell and Ellaria Sand to the audience. Specifically, I’m going to be talking about the very problematic portrayals of bisexuality that we see in this scene. Also, I haven’t seen episode two so this is only about Ellaria and Oberyn’s characterisation in the first episode of season four.

Also, this post was inspired by a conversation with Shiri Eisner after I read her Tumblr post “Dangerous, wild, exotic, sexy: Oberyn Martell and Ellaria Sand’s bisexuality.” You should really check it out. There’s a lot in Eisner’s post that I won’t necessarily be covering in here. It’s worth a read.

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Hannibal Recap: Mukozuke

Originally posted on Athena Genevieve:


Why Bryan Fuller, why?!


So I usually like to attempt to go through the episode chronologically, but I want to begin by talking about my uncomfortable levels of attractive to the two swimming killers this episode. Can we discuss this? Like ew, but also ooo. I’m confused!


This gif is all I need.

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An In-Depth Look at Mickey Milkovich – The Misogyny

BIG SPOILER WARNING: I will be spoiling all the things for Ian and Mickey’s story in Season 4, Episode 11 (titled Emily).

Last time I wrote about Mickey Milkovich, I wrote about the bits of his character which I enjoyed watching throughout Shameless’ four seasons. This time, however, I will be talking about a single episode over multiple blog posts and thus I will be going a bit more in depth into the social norms and pressures which shape his character. Instead of breaking the episode down chronologically, I’m going to break this all down thematically.

The Misogyny

Mickey is a misogynist. Keep in mind that most of the characters in Shameless exhibit or perpetuate casual misogyny in one way or another. This is explained in part by the larger society in which this show takes place; the U.S. in 2014 is a sexist, patriarchal society. The world in which the Shameless characters exist (the fictional slums of Chicago) is particularly sexist. Thus it’s no surprise that a lot of the characters perpetuate sexism in their lives. This isn’t a complaint, mind. Complaining about the misogyny and sexism in Shameless would be like complaining about McNulty’s sexism and misogyny in The Wire. It is meant to be a glimpse at ugly truths of our collective unconscious.

However, Mickey’s misogyny is not simply explained by existing in a sexist society. The difference, here, is Terry. Terry actively and aggressively hates women. He treats sex workers like property. He molested his own daughter repeatedly. Terry even hates women he supposedly cares about. For Mickey to be raised in that environment and not be an explicit misogynist would be unrealistic and unbelievable. Plus, seeing Mickey trying to move past his own misogyny when he “liberated” Svetlana and the other sex workers makes for an interesting character arc.

But Mickey’s misogyny differs from Terry’s in an important way. Whereas Terry’s misogyny stems from a conscious and visceral hatred for women, Mickey’s misogyny stems from an attempt at self-preservation. He uses language and takes action which put women down in order to try to pull himself up. Mickey attempts to bump up his image of masculinity by throwing feminine insults at women, and particularly other men. But all of that is to hide his own fear and insecurity which are incompatible with his (and his society’s) construction of masculinity.

Mickey is afraid of falling in love with Ian (though less so in the past few episodes) and he is afraid of what will happen if the neighbourhood finds out he’s gay. And because he believes fear is un-masculine, he is afraid people will discover he is afraid. So he attempts to turn that outward and knock anyone he views as a threat down a peg or two before they discover that he’s actually not as confident as he seems.

This brings us to the breaking point for Mickey’s character in this episode. All day Mickey had been stretched between his own desires, Svetlana’s demands, Ian’s demands and his fear of his father. The tension was building and the audience see’s Mickey’s frustration rise. Then, finally, at the party for Mickey’s son’s Christening, the following exchange happens:

Ian: I don’t have any interest in being a mistress anymore.

Mickey: Jesus Christ, when did you get so dramatic?

Ian: When I realised what a pussy you are.

Mickey: Say it again. I’m going to kick you’re fucking ass.

Ian: Come on. Come on, big guy. You think you’re a tough man? Huh? You’re not. You’re a coward.

Mickey: Fuck you. You don’t understand this at all.

Ian: I understand. I understand better than anyone that you’re afraid of your father. You’re afraid of your wife. You’re afraid to be who you are.

Mickey: You know what? Good. Leave. The hell do I care, bitch?

But of course, Mickey does care:


Then Mickey decides to make a huge announcement to everyone at the party, including Svetlana and Terry, that he’s gay. That conversation with Ian was the catalyst, the last straw, so to speak. On the surface, that conversation looks like Ian gave Mickey an ultimatum and Mickey acquiesces because he doesn’t want to lose Ian. That’s certainly part of it, but there is definitely more to it than Mickey’s desire to keep Ian around.

The conversation begins with a topic common to a lot of Mickey and Ian’s conversations. Ian’s not happy having to hide; Mickey’s unwilling to be open. But instead of pleading or being passive aggressive (as Ian usually does), he becomes confrontational. Ian takes Mickey’s own misogyny and throws it back at him by telling Mickey he’s a “pussy.” Mickey responds as expected. He’s going to prove his masculinity to anyone who dare challenge it (in this case Ian) by threatening to beat them down. But Ian doesn’t back down or take a beating. Instead, he calls out Mickey’s hypocrisy.

Ian’s still using gendered language to call out Mickey, telling him that he’s not a “tough man” but a coward. This juxtaposes masculinity with being a coward, making the two are incompatible. This is actually keeping in line with Mickey’s preconception of what masculinity is. The difference is that Ian is directly telling Mickey that he sees through Mickey’s uber masculine persona and knows that Mickey doesn’t actually live up to it.

It’s Ian’s last line that really pushes the message home. Here, Ian lays out exactly what Mickey is afraid of, ending with the observation that Mickey is afraid to be himself. In other words, Ian’s telling Mickey that by creating a performance of masculinity, Mickey actually isn’t ‘a real man’ because the performance is false and fuelled by fear.

Mickey’s last line is an attempt to continue the performance, even though he knows it doesn’t work with Ian. Mickey pretends not to care; he calls Ian a gendered slur (bitch) again. It doesn’t work; Ian’s seen through it. Ian ignores what Mickey says and just walks away. This is when Mickey decides to announce that he’s gay at the party. Mickey’s left with the choice of either continuing the performance that Ian has called out as false and un-masculine, or embracing Ian’s version of masculinity which requires honesty. Ian’s message that it isn’t really masculine to hide who he is sinks in and Mickey comes out.

This new masculinity which Mickey embraces is problematic and more than a little sexist too, really. After the party, Mickey makes a joke that he may have come out but he’s not going to wear a dress, which is transmisogynist. It also conflates the concept of gay men with trans women. Of course, men who wear dresses maintain their identity as men and trans women who wear dresses were never men at all. Gender presentation is not the same as gender identity. But Mickey and Ian don’t see it that way. They have managed to fold homosexuality into their conception of acceptable masculinity, but not feminine presentation.

Also, this new masculinity still relies on privileging masculinity. Mickey and Ian have new criteria for expressing their masculinity, but they’re still very much concerned with adhering to those criteria.

But then, Mickey and Ian aren’t exactly the sorts of characters who would sit around thinking about the social implication in their actions. They’re just trying to survive in their little neighbourhood in Chicago. I hardly expect either of them to have a particularly philosophical approach to gender and misogyny.

Tune in tomorrow for the next section where I discuss Mickey’s conversation with the gay cop.
Change of plans. I’m ill so this second piece just didn’t happen.

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10 Actual Real Posters from A Voice for Men

Look at these totally real posts I’ve come across from A Voice for Men…which I totally did not make myself (as Ally Fogg suggested) after that whole Halifax Men’s Rights bit of bullshit. Nope. These are totally legit.


Whoever made these is unfortunately limited in their artistic and graphical design abilities, which explains why they’re all white text on a solid black background…

I suggest you add any helpful suggestions in the comments below.

As damselindetech requested...erm...found...

As damselindetech requested…erm…found…


AVfM 2-1

One more, for good measure


AVfM Series2-2

Everyone look at what sn0rkmaiden requested…found…y’know…


AVfM Series2-3

“Discovered” by livingtree2013